Starting something new in life can be terrifying. More than the end of a chapter, the beginning of one is what makes me anxious. There is a certain uncertainty – am I making the right decision? Is this going to lead me to a better future? Is this going to prove fruitful? Am I going to be able to fulfil the expectations attached to it?
This post has been sitting in my drafts for a month now, but I’m finally hitting “publish” today.
A thousand questions ran through my head as I stared at my computer screen, the button “accept offer” glinting at me. I have accomplished three degrees – dual-award undergraduate honours and a postgraduate diploma. I felt like I should have been ready to take on new challenges, I had done this enough times after all. Nevertheless, my heart beat fast and my hands shook. This was a huge decision, much bigger than my previous ones, because it was supposed to truly define my future, both in terms of work and education. This was the final stop and it had to be right – because if I went wrong here, my plan to hit it off with my career would start on the wrong foot.
Moving to another city, easy. Moving to another country, still easy. Moving to another continent, exciting but also a little daunting. The older you get, the more difficult you find to adjust to new surroundings. Not only that, this time am going to be doing something a lot different from what I have been doing in the past two years.
A little change is enough to shake me up. Past couple months, I got so used to staying close to my loved ones, having them only a train ride away, and suddenly, the prospect of turning that into a flight and increasing that distance, it is enough to give me a pause. There is a lot at stake here and time and money are only small factors. My future, my family’s expectations, my own dreams… clicking one button could make or break it.
Finally, I took a deep breath and hit it. (A form that needs to be filled follows but that part is easy). This is it. I have chosen my path. For the next 2 years, am going to study Masters in Management from one of the world’s top rated institutions, the Australian National University. I hope the postgraduate coursework degree is not only an academic learning experience, but also a life learning one. More than that, I hope it gives me the foundation I need to really build my career in the managerial side of the media industry. I hope, after two years, I can get the return and make my loved ones proud on what I will be investing here – my time, my dreams, my efforts, distance from those I love, and a major part of myself.
Carrying all these hopes inside me, and keeping my fingers crossed on the outside, because that is all I can do at this point, I begin the new chapter – no matter how scary it is. Canberra, here I come!