In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt Frame of Mind: If you could paint your current mood onto a canvas, what would that painting look like? What would it depict?
Chaos. Splatter of paint. Collage of memories. Web of happiness. Threads of fear.
I’ve undergone numerous changes in the past couple of months. They’re perhaps inconsequential to the average person, but understandably, big to me. They’ve contributed to the person I’m today, to the person I’m growing to be everyday.
Recently, I’ve spent some amazing time with loved ones – on vacation and at home – and those memories are ingrained in my mind, bringing a smile to my face every time I think back. Past days have been a series of ups and downs, but the people that matter make it worthwhile. A splatter of red and yellow.
Retreating a couple weeks further, I’ve started a new job. My first job ever. I am still ploughing through it, finding my way in the labyrinth of the media industry, in the production world, learning the reigns, moving forward. There’re times when I find myself in a rut. And then I don’t know what the future holds. Is this where I want to be? Is this what I want to keep doing? I don’t know. I guess I’ll find out as time goes on and I continue on the road to self-discovery. A splatter of grey and green.
Few more steps backward, it’s the big move from UK to India after graduation. Returning to live in my home country after an absence of about eight years. It’s scary, daunting, frustrating. I miss UK. I miss Tanzania. I miss Malaysia. I miss my friends. I miss who I used to be earlier. But I’m growing and changing and maturing, and more importantly, learning to accept my new reality. A splatter of brown and blue.
Back to the present, it’s a whirlwind of emotion. I’m happy and confused and nostalgic and stressed and settled all at once. Still evolving, still growing, still moving forward. Grateful that all of this exists, that I’ve had these experiences. Taking it one day at a time colouring my canvas. It’s a rainbow.