As I listened to my Mum talk animatedly about her brief visit to Muscat (Oman), I couldn’t help but smile. I truly miss her while I am here – away from home. Listening to her voice full with passion and awe as she talked about the beauty of Muscat, made my heart ache for her. I suddenly wanted to be there with her, to see her eyes light up with excitement while narrating her experience, to see the smile gracing her lips while reminiscing about the beauty of the place, to see her carefree laugh rather than just listen to it – I was seized by the desire to see it all in person, yet I of course I couldn’t.
Same goes for my father. As I told him all about my classes, my teachers, my progress, my upcoming trip to Langkawi (my first only-with-friends trip here in Malaysia) I could hear it in his voice that he was proud of me – of his little girl having grown up – and I wanted to see that pride I had yearned for so much in his eyes. I could feel the smile in his voice as I chattered on about this and that, and all I really wanted was to look at that smile for myself.
It is a wonder, how my parents and I have come a long way since before I left for Malaysia. Who would have thought that about an year ago, I argued with them, was irritated by them at times, didn’t want to talk to them – all those angst-filled teen years seem so foolish to me now. Our petty “fights” with each other, especially between my Mom and I, were not worth it at all, because in the end whether she shows it or not, she loves me, she wants the best for me, and of course I love her too. It’s silly that it took me an year of separation to realize this.
Now, I yearn for their presence, I miss my Mum scolding me, I miss my Dad giving me “lectures”, I miss all those weekend-outs together, and I regret the time I’ve lost fighting with them, perhaps even disliking them at times, and wishing to be away from them, when instead I could have spent those moments loving them, understanding them, helping them, caring for them, and just feeling happy being close to them.
Oh well, time once gone never comes back, but when I visit them during my holidays, I’ll sure try to make up for all I have lost. Ultimately, in a way, I am grateful that this distance between us brought me closer to them.
I love you Mom and Dad, forever and always…